I’m sitting here trying to think of a catchy first line for my new blog article. Then I figured I would start with telling you all how busy things have continued to be. A time or two I have thought about putting this to rest for a while. Then, I realize that life will almost always be busy. Telling others about my journey has been good for me and I hope will help someone else along the way. I’m also guessing many of you find yourselves in that same category, so offering what I’ve learned hopefully will inspire you too.
I am relieved life is getting a little back to normal as we once knew it before COVID. In my work as a nurse manager, I have seen a lot of positive steps in the right direction. As healthcare continues to learn new ways of doing things, this has continued to keep me on my toes.
My newest personal journey has been getting to know myself all over again. Right after Thanksgiving, my daily calories starting trending up. I shared in the past when this occurred I would focus on trending back down over the course of a few days until I was back on track. What I noticed this time is a harder time trending back down and forcing myself to eat more than what my stomach felt comfortable with.
My surgery was a tool and definitely not a quick fix. People with bariatric surgery can still gain weight. Our brains are still wired just as they were before surgery. My smaller stomach wants to stop me from overeating, but my brain conspires against me. I will state surgery did help my food brain understand that I can do this. My brain remembers what I went through before surgery and after and this journey won’t easily be erased. That is my saving grace.
My weight trended from about 164 to 174 between Thanksgiving and June. I saw 163 for about five minutes, literally. Putting my numbers on paper might make you think I only focus on those. My weight number is important to me because I worked hard to lose almost 100 pounds in order to save my life. In that sense, the numbers do mean something. I will not let those numbers define who I am, where I’ve been, and where I can still go. What it does mean is that I need to re-focus. It’s a small bend in the journey, does not mean I’ve completely derailed, just a momentary pause. Like the title of my article, it is a detour from my plan. It’s life, I’m human, and this is going to happen.
Gaining weight made me feel poorly at times in terms of a disappointment in myself, feeling sluggish again, and stuck in my old habits. I could not get myself to keep trending those calories down more than day or two before they were right back up again. In June, I decided to go back on WW. I consulted with a close family member who lost a lot of weight on WW. I have done WW in the past and at one time lost over 45 pounds. I know it can be successful. Combined with my tool of surgery, I’m setting out to re-focus, lose those 10 pounds I gained, work on my activity level, and re-energize.
I started on WW a few weeks ago and I have to admit getting started again has been a struggle. I am determined to start heading in the right direction again and will not give up. This does not mean I won’t have desserts, gain a pound or two now and then, not do the activity level I should, or not track every single day. What I can focus on is taking more steps in the right direction than in the opposite direction. It’s not about perfection. It’s about recalling those tools I learned before and after surgery.
Next time I will post an update, share some new foods I have tried, and any other tricks and tips. So far in the last few weeks, I am back down three pounds, and feeling better about this goal. This is perfect timing also as my stomach has been really reacting to not having the protein and good food it needs.
Until then, wishing you all well on your own journey no matter what your goal.
Mandy